


Fifty-Three Roses On The Kitchen Table

by the_pea



Category: VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Dancing, M/M, Sad, it is not that sad?? but still it's not pleasant soo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-02-01 10:47:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12703446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_pea/pseuds/the_pea
Summary: Please don’tmake me stayto watchyouslowlyfall outof lovewith me.





	Fifty-Three Roses On The Kitchen Table

**Author's Note:**

> A sad fic in which Jung Taekwoon tries hopelessly to preserve a dying relationship.

**Part I**

   Taekwoon came out of shower, leaving the hot and steamy bathroom. He turned off the light without glancing and walked to the kitchen. He was only wearing a bathrobe tied loosely on his waist, and his black hair was still dripping wet. He hadn’t bothered to dry it. “I should get a haircut sometime.” He thought to himself, it was always some other time.  
He entered the kitchen, sun rays entering under half-drawn blinds shone directly on his face. He blinked a few times to adjust to the brightness. He turned his back to the window and went to the fridge. He opened the fridge door a little too harshly and delved his head to shelves. Taekwoon wasn’t particularly hungry, but he was trying to avoid a certain furniture inside the kitchen. He found a box of leftovers on the lower shelf and dumped it inside the microwave, without even checking the contents. Once again, he slammed the fridge door forcefully than needed and stared at the microwave. He was staring so intently as if the tiny little box would catch fire. The beeping noise of the countdown was extremely annoying for Taekwoon. It was the longest two minutes of his life.

   He took the box out of the microwave with a sigh and faced the furniture he was avoiding for about five minutes.

   It was the table. A single kitchen table with four functioning legs.

   In fact, it was not the table Taekwoon was vary of. It was the big flower bouquet laying on top of it. The bouquet was wrapped in a high quality brown paper, covered with lace and tied with a soft pastel pink ribbon. The bouquet consisted of roses. 52 red and 1 white, to be exact. The reds symbolised the weeks they had spent together, which was a year; and the white one was meant for eternity. Sadly, the bouquet was never received by the person it was bought for. Taekwoon knew his lover would love and appreciate the bouquet if he had come home last night, as well as the candles and silver plates. Yesterday, it was their one-year anniversary and Taekwoon had spent so much time preparing the shared flat. He got permission to leave early from his boss, Hongbin, who was a stern project manager but was a sucker for romance. Taekwoon had dropped by the grocery store to pick up a glass of fine red wine and some pesto sauce. He had planned of cooking pasta. On his way home, he had bought the bouquet. Although he didn’t want to admit himself, Taekwoon was quite excited. When he went home, he opened the windows to let fresh autumn winter in. It was getting colder and the weather wasn’t that sunny, but Taekwoon liked it this way too. He proceeded to cook a somewhat edible pasta and served them on big white plates. He didn’t want to open the wine bottle too early, so he opted for placing it on the kitchen table next to two wine glasses. Satisfied with the table, he took out the tiny white candles he had borrowed from a fellow colleague, Jaehwan, a few days ago. Jaehwan seemed to like lighting up candles while taking baths, and Taekwoon knew this too-personal information somehow. He lit up the candles and lined them in a row that started from the entrance and ended at the feet of kitchen table. He then sprinkled petals of two spare roses he bought just for this purpose around the makeshift path he created with candles.

That was all he could manage in a short time. He changed his clothes, wearing something neither fancy nor casual and styled his hair a bit. He even wore a nice black boxer which had a grip on his butt quite well. He had a vague assumption how this night would end, probably the without the boxer.

Taekwoon went to the kitchen table and sat on the chair which directly faced the door. He wanted to see the shock on his lover’s face when he came back tired from work. He smiled contently and leaned back, waiting patiently while the seconds ticked.

Hakyeon never came home that night.

 

**Part II**

   After changing his clothes to the uniform of the restaurant he worked, Taekwoon collected his phone, keys and wallet and left the home. He took the bus instead of subway, for which he wanted to watch the city passing by. He had left the house a tad early, anyway, because he couldn’t bare the coldness of the empty flat.

   The bus was heading to Gangnam-gu, which was a prettier and wealthier district of the other side of river. Takewoon liked gazing at the parks and buildings as the bus went down the main road, looking but not seeing. There were glimpses of life everywhere: a couple was walking their dog at a nicely-kept park, a businessman who looked like he was late to a meeting inside one of these giant skyscrapers was running, a group of high schoolers were playing with kids at a playground. It was all vivid and colourful. Takewoon leaned his head to the window and looked at clouds. He wanted to be like them, feel like them. Without worry.

Instead, he felt like it should have been a rainy day.

   He got off at his spot and walked a few minutes before arriving at the restaurant. One could think running a restaurant this early is a stupid idea, but you’d be surprised at how many people wanted to sober up while munching on stuff after partying for hours the night before. Taekwoon was glad he got this as his day-time job, despite he had to deal with shitfaced rich kids this early in the morning. Not that he was complaining.

To be frank, Taekwoon didn’t quite understand them. College kids and young-adults whose parents were big companies’ shareholders liked spending their time hopping from club to club, not really caring the amount of money they’d spend, and always ending up in either someone’s house or an appetizer restaurant just like the one he was working at. Taekwoon’s job was to bring plates or more soju if/when asked, mopping the floor when one of the kids vomit, calling a cab if a customer is unable to stand on their own legs. It was kind of fun, to be observing how stupid these spoiled people can get.

   Today, the restaurant was not that packed when he arrived, just a few tables were occupied. Taekwoon went to the kitchen to grab a white apron and tied it around his waist. He tied his hair behind his head. The small black tie didn’t do much to hold his black locks, but it was enough to keep them away from the heat and grease of kitchen. Taekwoon went over the counter to as one of his colleagues to show him the unattended tables for him to take care of.

“Table number three near the window, a bunch of noisy drunk college boys.” Said the girl with an unimpressed look. They shared an understanding look and Taekwoon nodded at her once before approaching said table.

   She wasn’t wrong about the kids, they were quite loudmouthed. Seated around the table, five people were listening to a young man speaking over everyone. The boy was on his feet, with a bottle in his hand, talking excitedly about something. The others were occasionally cheering, shouting or mumbling in approval while filling their glasses with more alcohol. Taekwoon had to take a deep breath and mentally pinch the bridge of his nose before asking them if there was anything they wanted.

The response was a cacophony. Everyone was ordering something while shouting to be heard. Taekwoon did his best to note down everything. Then, just out of habit, he asked “Is that all for now?” without even waiting for an answer. He turned his back to the group and put away the notebook and pen inside the pocket of his apron.

Just as he was about to walk away, a hand grabbed his forearm. Taekwoon turned his back to see who was holding him, it was the boy giving a speech earlier. Taekwoon raised one eyebrow hoping to look asking rather than rude and the boy smiled. Surprisingly, the boy had a child-like smile which was in contrast with his strong grip on Taekwoon’s arm.

“Where are you going? I hadn’t finished telling my story.” The boy said, looking at the latter as if they were friends. Taekwoon mumbled he would be back with the orders in a few minutes. The boy didn’t seem to want to let go but luckily was distracted by a friend’s request to her more about whatever they’ve been talking about. Taekwoon turned back to the kitchen and cited the orders. While waiting for them to be prepared, he swore at the bratty boy under his breath, he hated strangers touching him. He grabbed the plates and went back to the table. The group had ordered so much stuff that he had to take double-route a few times for everything. While setting them on table, he couldn’t help but hear small bits of the ongoing monologue, which was restarted by the boy holding Taekwoon’s arm.

“Yeah we met at uni… We share music theory classes… No, not acting but I think he is in dancing dep… You should see how good he looks while dancing. He’s like the most handsome hyung I’ve ever met… A bit shorter than me with a small, pretty face… No, I invited him to have a drink, but he insisted paying. I told him he looked tense and maybe needed to loosen a bit… I’m not sure if he is in a relationship, but have you seen him?... Yeah, he’s really hot, though I’m not sure if he thinks of me like… We had so much fu… Shit, I think I left my jacket with him. Hyung was cold so I…”

Taekwoon smiled at himself, this sounded so much like a cliché story that would happen to these spoiled kids. He set the last plate on the table and went back inside the kitchen.

   His day shift was over which meant it was nearly 1 p.m. in the afternoon. Taekwoon changed his clothes, waved at the other workers and stepped out to the fresh air. he didn’t have night work today, so he could go back home. He yawned to himself, maybe hunching over the kitchen table for sleeping was not a good idea.

   The flat was quiet when he got home after an hour of bus driving, but Taekwoon could see Hakyeon’s worn out boots at the entrance. Taekwoon did his best the minimize the noise while putting the apartment key inside. Inside, he took off his shoes, dropped his keys and wallet on the counter and went to the kitchen. To his relief, the bouquet was not there.

   Taekwoon stood at the doorframe of their shared bedroom and listened to Hakyeon’s soft puffs of air while sleeping. Hakyeon had an angelic look on his face, looked content while sleeping, and mostly, young. Taekwoon felt his chest swell by the sheer beauty that was present. Hakyeon hadn’t changed his clothes he was probably wearing the day before. He had fitting jeans, a sandy turtleneck and a jacket which Taekwoon couldn’t remember where it came from. Hakyeon’s black hair was draped messily on his head and pillow and Taekwoon had to hold himself from caressing the silky texture, afraid of waking Hakyeon up. The most striking part of the image was the flower bouquet Hakyeon was holding in his arms while sleeping. Taekwoon was glad to see the roses had reached their receiver.

   This was what Taekwoon lived for. He wanted to hold Hakyeon forever, tell him he’s going to achieve his dreams of becoming a successful dancer, earn enough money to pay for a small flat in Gangnam so he and Hakyeon could be like those couples having picnics at parks. He knew he was not the best boyfriend when it came to showing his emotions fully, but he knew Hakyeon understood and accepted him the way he was; they cherished each other. They dreamed together, slept together, laughed together, cried together.

 

**Part III**

   Taekwoon was laying absent-mindedly on the couch, skipping through the boring channels with the volume as low as possible when he felt a pair of hands covering his eyes.  
“Who must that be?” Taekwoon asked aloud. The owner of the pretty hands chuckled. The hands moved down from covering Taekwoon’s eyes to his neck. Hakyeon caressed the nape of Taekwoon’s neck before traveling his hands down the other man’s shoulders, gently massaging. Taekwoon shuddered with a small feeling of expectation.  
From the corner of his eye, he saw Hakyeon levelling his head with the back of his neck. Suddenly, he felt his lover’s hot breath against his ear.

“I saw the roses. They are beautiful.” Hakyeon whispered. There was a sound of amusement, thankfulness and desire mixed together. Taekwoon’s breath hitched. Hakyeon started caressing Taekwoon’s torso over his shirt.

“You have to wake up early. I would not want you to feel tired during practice.” Taekwoon said, though a bit weakly, as he was aware of the sweet churning blooming down his stomach.  
Hakyeon’s hands stopped. He grabbed Taekwoon’s chin with one hand and turned his head to look at him in the eye, while caressing Taekwoon’s hair with his other hand.

“Taekwoon, I feel so bad for not being here with you last night and now I can not think of anything else but you. Let me show how thankful I am.”

His face was stern but the look on his eyes were so feral, so lustful that Taekwoon could only gulp down and wet his lips in anticipation. “You are most welcome.” He managed to whisper before Hakyeon closed the distance between them and kissed Taekwoon passionately. They kissed until they were grasping to get air, until they were filled with ache to taste more. Hakyeon broke the kiss in sake of circling the couch and laying on top of Taekwoon. They looked at each other gently, but also with desire. Taekwoon helped Hakyeon take off both their shirts. This time when they embraced, it was much more intimate. Hakyeon’s bare chest was hot, oh so hot against Taekwoon’s and the taller man engulfed him as his mouth ghosted its way over Hakyeon’s neck. Hakyeon groaned sat upright, straddling Tekwoon’s waist with his legs. He started rocking their hips slowly, guiding Taekwoon’s hands on his waist. Taekwoon was more than willing to obey.

//

   That night, Taekwoon whispered how much he loved Hakyeon to every inch of his beautifully tanned skin. In return, Hakyeon kissed him so feverishly that Taekwoon thought he would not complain if he had died right then and there. Their limbs tangled together, breaths erratic, hair messy, finding comfort with little gestures of approval: it was heaven.

//

   Hakyeon was fixing his hair on the mirror, dressed already, when Taekwoon opened his eyes.

“Good morning love, told you I wouldn’t be late” Hakyeon said, showing the watch on his phone. The lockscreen was the two of them when they went to fields in Changwon for a date.

Taekwoon growled at the face of too bright screen but woke up. Hakyeon was stuffing his sports bag with various items and reached for a jacket tossed on floor.

“Is that a new jacket or something? I don’t remember it.” said Taekwoon sleepily.

“No, a classmate landed it to me last night because I was cold. I will return it today.”

“Okay. Do you want to have breakfast?”

“I wish. I will just grab something and go. I will fix something for you too, how about it?” Hakyeon said apologizingly.

“Nah, I can do it. You go get your food.”

“Okay then. See you tonight.” Hakyeon kissed Taekwoon gently and grabbed his duffel bag.

“Love you.” Taekwoon mumbled.  
“Hmm. Take care baby.” Was the response he got before the front door was shut.

 

**Part IV**

   The music was blasting through Hakyeon’s ears, as well as echoing the walls of practice room. The song was a newly released pop track, with suggestive beats laced underneath the female vocal’s throaty singing. Hakyeon wished he had some sort of ponytail to twist and turn while dancing.  
Right now, Hakyeon was in the middle of a highly upbeat dance practice. He had been practicing this sequence for about two weeks but still had doubts on his mind. He was a perfectionist, after all. Few of his classmates from C415-1 had actually complimented him on how hard he was working and joked about being envious of him. Hakyeon accepted all with a humble smile on his lips but his eyes were shining with pride.

“Okay everyone, see you tomorrow! Let’s go for lunch.” the teacher called from over the music system. The students let out a satisfied breath and began packing their bags to go out. Hakyeon waved them goodbye but stayed inside. He wanted to practice a bit more. The room was empty at lunch time and Hakyeon found it better to eat his sandwich while walking between classes to save time.

   So there he was, forty-five minutes into the break and sweat dripping down his hair to his neck. He was so immersed in the music, going over the same steps again and again to smooth even the invisible imperfections in his performance. Hakyeon felt like dancing was as essential as breathing for him, a complement to his life. It was no wonder he didn’t notice one particular person carefully slipping through the door, leaning against the wall to watch him dance. No, Hakyeon only noticed the figure when the music stopped and said person started clapping.

“Hyung, that was amazing.”

“Han Sanghyuk, you startled me. Why do you keep coming without telling me first? It’s the third time this week, you know.” Hakyeon tsk-ed while combing through his hair with his hands.

“But hyung, it is so much entertaining when you don’t notice.” Sanghyuk said, standing up. He walked to Hakyeon and looked directly at his eyes. “That’s when you leave this world to travel your imaginary one, where you dance non-stop on your beautiful stage and everyone applauds you like crazy.” He smiled childishly. “But for right now, I am your only audience.”

Hakyeon cleared his throat and walked away from Sanghyuk, pretending to change his shoes to put them in his duffel bag. For some reason, there was a weird sensation between his stomach and guts. It was both pleasant and achy, and he wasn’t familiar with it which made him feel slightly annoyed.

“I am glad it is you. You don’t criticize me and that is the last thing I want. Another person giving me advice on how to do this and that.” Hakyeon admitted.

“Well, that’s because I don’t know much about dancing in theory. However, I was told my eyes are quick to catch beauty.” Sanghyuk wriggled his brows.

“Well, this beauty is drenched in sweat and would die for an iced coffee right now.” Hakyeon said. He took his bag and started walking towards the door. He didn’t look back to check because he knew Sanghyuk would follow like a loyal puppy.

“Then please be my guest as I pamper you with some bitter coffee watered-down with ice. This poor boy right here” said Sanghyuk while pointing at himself “would even be okay with sharing a cheesecake.”

   What Hakyeon saw was the glimpse of himself laughing at the mirror with Sanghyuk grinning cheekily just before they went out the room and headed towards the café of the faculty.

   What Hakyeon didn’t see was the way Sanghyuk’s hand shyly reached forward as if to hold his own then fell down without him noticing.

 

**P** **art V**

“So, how are your grades?” Hakyeon asked after swallowing a big chunk of the cheesecake Sanghyuk had ordered for them to share. He knew Sanghyuk wasn’t poor per se, but Hakyeon would have felt bad if he had a spoiled image in Sanghyuk’s eyes. As if it would ever happen, but Hakyeon still insisted on sharing one cheesecake, claiming he’s paying attention to his diet.

“Hyung don’t be like this! I didn’t become friends for you to nag me like my mother does back home.” Sanghyuk scoffed but it came out playful rather than annoyed. He would probably never get angry at Hakyeon.

“You behaving like this makes me want to nag you even more.” Said Hakyeon, sipping his iced-coffee. “Plus, I am really curious about how you are doing.”  
For a reason unknown to him, Sanghyuk’s heart skipped a beat after those words. He knew Hakyeon was a considerate and even motherly figure, he was probably this intrusive to all his friends, but it still felt nice to be cared for by him.

“It’s all good, I’m still practicing the skit for the performance showcase. My partner is a bit of trouble though, she does the bare minimum in classes and rarely comes to additional practices, so we didn’t get much time to go over few of our dialogues. I should probably talk with Minho Ssaem, but don’t wanna be labelled as a snitch.”

“You know you can always practice your lines with me, right?

“Nah, I don’t want to waste hyung’s time with my assignment. I can do mirror-practices.” Sanghyuk scratched the back of his neck.

“Do as you wish, but the offer still stands. It would be a shame if you didn’t get to see me act even just for company.”

“You act?” That was new and valuable knowledge for Sanghyuk. “Since when?”

“Uhm, I was always into stage performances so acting was something I tried picking up along the way. I don’t know any methods nor techniques, though.” The elder pouted. The sight was so cute for Sanghyuk that the young man couldn’t stop himself from bursting:

“Hyung! I will teach you! Well I’m still a student myself but wouldn’t it be so cool? You can think of this as a pastime and I get to practice in front of a good listener.” Sanghyuk was flailing his arms widely now. “And – and you can even take professional classes later if you’re still up to it and you know I’d watch you like one person is not the best audience I know but like-“

“Okay!” said Hakyeon, interrupting Sanghyuk’s messy train of thoughts.

“W-what?”

“I will help with your practice and you can teach me stuff like mimes. I think it would be good for my own stage performances too.” They nodded their heads at the same time and laughed at it, before finishing the cheesecake and coffees in comfortable silence.

After licking off his fork, Sanghyuk sheepishly asked “How’s Taekwoon hyung?”. He tried to make it sound as casual and chat-ty as possible, but there was an undeniable spark of jealousy and wonder in his eyes. A spark Hakyeon saw but could not decipher.

“He overworks himself.” Hakyeon sighed into his hands. “I tell him it makes him age faster. You know he works at this banchan restaurant in daytime and replaces for the night security in that office three nights a week. Sometimes four. AND I NEVER get to see him.”

“Wow, hyung is really upset about this, huh?”

“Of course I am. But I know he does it just because I am spoiled and want to take walks in Gangnam on weekends. The person I am angry at is probably me.”

“No, hyung, don’t go too hard on yourself. I am sure if your boyfriend was unhappy with what you both have, he would tell you and you’d talk it out, right? I know you love each other so much, you can compromise if needed.”

After he finished talking, Hakyeon looked at Sanghyuk deeply for a long time, squinting hard.  
“Thanks, Hyuk-ah, you really are so precious. Say, do you have any plans for tonight?”   

Sanghyuk gasped jokingly. “But hyung, what if Taekwoon hyung finds out?” He put on a fake- shocked face. He knew he stood no chance with Hakyeon so best option was mocking the situation in order to save it from being awkward.

“Hah. Very funny. There is this gig a friend of Taekwoon-ie holds tonight and he literally begged for us to come support him. Sadly, Taekwoon is working tonight too, and all the music blasting at your ears at full volume is not something I crave to attend alone, honestly.”

“So you are dragging me to your misery to suffer together?”

“So you’re coming?”

Sanghyuk hated himself for being so easy for Hakyeon.

“Yes, hyung. Just make sure you send me the details of the venue _before_ the event.”

“Yeah yeah. Will do. Hope you like rappers.”

 

**Part VI**

As promised, the bass was blasting through the whole bar. Turned out the “gig” Hakyeon was taling about is a make-shift rap concert of some underground rapper called Ravi.

“You sure we came to right place and not some filthy bar which we are in high risk of getting alcohol poisoning? Half of the people are already out of it, hyung!” Sanghyuk had to practically shout at Hakyeon to make his voice heard over the music. They were on their way to grab something to drink and unwind before the rapper took stage.

“Then make sure you stay with the other half of the crowd.” Hakyeon said amusingly. “How would I afford a huge concert to go with you? The guy invited me here. At least be grateful you get to go out and socialize.”

Sanghyuk rolled his eyes while looking at the cardboard menu. “I don’t want to socialize with anyone here. I will just peacefully listen to some music, sip my drink, maybe converse with you a little bit, and go home.” He ordered a moscow mule whilst Hakyeon ordered himself a sazerac.

“Let’s go classy, shall we?”

//

Turns out swapping cocktails with a set of tequila shot and then a bottle of beer was not the perfect way to go classy. Sanghyuk was slurring his words by now and though he was not a lightweight drinker, even Hakyeon had a crooked expression on his face while they watched the man on stage hype the crowd. Everyone was jumping along with the rapper, Ravi, the atmosphere was vivid. The venue was humid with all the people dancing and people were sweaty with all the moving.

“Shit, I’m having so much fun! This Ravi guy is good. Hyung let’s hold hands and jump!”

Hakyeon was giggling so much at Sanghyuk’s funny dance moves he needed to take a deep breath before linking their hands. At least he thought that was the reason why his chest felt tight.

They were trying to sing along the chorus of a fast rap sluggishly while swaying their bodies at the same time. It was a hard thing to do, but they were doing quite good for two drunk arts college students at a sloppy bar.

Until an even more drunk girl decided her legs were not enough to keep her standing and bumped to Sanghyuk’s back, sending him toward Hakyeon.

Their chests collided rather abruptly while Hakyeon staggered back with a soft “oof”. Sanghyuk held onto Hakyeon’s arms for leverage and distanced himself a bit to give the older some space to keep his feet steady. Either time had slowed down or they were moving slowly.

It was cliché, really. Bodies too close, cheeks red with alcohol, panting fast with surprise and maybe something else. It was cliché, really and Sanghyuk was too drunk to think rationally.

“Hyung, I know you have Taekwoon hyung, and this is really wrong of me but I can’t think straight when I’m this close.  Blame it on the alcohol and hope we both forget this happened tomorrow. But for now, what I’m about to do feels like the only thing I must do. Forgive me.” were the last word he panted out before closing the space between them and kissing Hakyeon.

//

Somewhere kilometres away, in a lonely office building, the night guard with long figure and black hair felt an unknown pang in his chest, but couldn’t decipher.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I didn’t want to directly put Hakyeon’s name bc that would spoil the story... This fic is not completed yet, I haven't posted all the parts. Any comments and constructive criticism are welcome! xx
> 
> (Btw, what do you think about the current presence of skinship? I don't have any experience so i skipped but implied it.) (C415-1 is actually Advanced Modern/Postmodern Dance Course!!)


End file.
